Ringing in the School Day

Photo attributed to FREEPIK

It's 5:30 a.m., the sun is starting to peek through the blinds, and there's a calmness is in the air you can only get before the world is fully awake. Today is the first day of school for a lot of kiddos, and for some reason I am feeling a little nostalgic as I think back to when my own kids were heading out for their “first day of school moments”. Of course, I did not take any pictures back then. First day of school mornings in our house were not scrapbook material, they were chaos filled. Although we supposedly had everything ready to go the night before, there always seemed to be something. Hair that refused to cooperate, accompanied by a child screaming, "Stop, it's hurting, you're tearing off my head", a notebook that mysteriously disappeared from the backpack, and a lunch box that refused to close no matter how hard I pushed on it. Of course, no morning would be complete without at least one child spilling breakfast cereal right down the front of their shirt and the fact I didn't see the stain until we were walking out the door. Pictures were not on my mind.

Meanwhile, down the street lived Ms. Perfect. You know the type; every neighborhood has one. Dressed in clothes, instead of a bathrobe and house shoes, hair fixed, makeup on, and chipper enough to wonder if she was taking some kind of medication labeled "mood enhancing." She was the unofficial, perky greeter of the neighborhood. Her children stepped out of the door into the sun like it was their own personal spotlight, showing off spotless tennis shoes that matched the color of their clothes. As if that wasn't bad enough, there she was, handy dandy Kodak Instant Camera in hand, ready to document the moment from every angle as if she were filming a model shoot. No doubt she would scrapbook it later with glitter stickers and thought bubbles. Don't get me wrong, I think there was a year or two I managed to get a picture or two myself. They are either in a plastic box under the bed, or in that sad little box of undeveloped rolls that never made it to print. In that mix, I'm sure there is a blurry shot of something, probably important, where my thumb was over the lens.

Soon, first day of school excitement fades and reality takes over. Exhausted parents multitask the challenges of juggling work, bus stops, after-school activities, homework and daycare. Every year we swear, "This year we will be more organized", and every year those resolutions are broken before the first week is over. Familiar phrases will be repeated, such as, "For the third time, GET UP!" "Why didn't you tell me you needed a poster board for today?" And, of course, the 3:15 phone call from a little voice saying, "Mom, I missed the bus."  Try explaining to your boss why you have to leave again, for the third time this week.   

Chaotic times, yes. Busy times, absolutely. Still, I can't help but miss the days of new school clothes and supplies shopping, giddiness of the night before school starts, drop offs at the door, getting fantastic hugs, and hearing one last "I Love You”. I remember anxiously waiting to hear about their first day. The new friends they met, whether or not they liked their teachers, and popcorn day would start next week.

Now that my kiddos are grown and out of the house, the first day of school only crosses my mind when I see posts flooding social media. As parents, we tend to remember good times more than not-so-good times. Yet, there are things I do not miss. Mountains of first day paperwork that needed to be signed, budget drains, after-school program conflicts, hectic schedules, the anxiety of a sick kid (and then having to worry about keeping your job), and homework, homework, homework (oh, did I mention homework).  

As a card-carrying member of the Empty Nest Club, I want to remind young parents of a few things:

Struggles will pass. Embrace each day...once it’s gone…it’s gone. 

Savor those hugs and kisses like the tiny treasures they are. 

Capture artwork memories on your smart phone, and back them up. 

Ask your kids about their day, and REALLY listen. 

NEVER let a day go by without saying “I love you!” 

Yell less, laugh more. 

Stop worrying about the clutter and mess, accept it and learn to appreciate the moments. 

Sit down to dinner together as often as possible.

Put down the phones. In the evening, whether it's helping with homework or just watching tv, value family time, it won't be there forever.  

Before you know it, in a blink of an eye, it will be over. Your kiddos will be grown, with careers and families of their own. Their futures are bright, but there will always be a part of you that wishes you could go back, if only for just one day!