If you ever reheated your coffee three times before noon, brokered a peace treaty over the last candy bar, or wondered if the laundry pile is secretly multiplying, then you’re in good company. 

Recently, I had the opportunity to sit down with three powerhouse women, Jasmine, Mo, and Syi, who are living their best life and mastering the fine art of balancing parenting, careers, and chaos. Between the stories, chuckles, side-eye humor and knowing nods, it was obvious, the struggle of the juggle is real.

Syi began by sharing how her mother’s military mindset about routines shaped her childhood. Bedtime was strict. 7:30 every night, even on weekends. Discipline became her anchor, a skill she would need more than she could have imagined when she suddenly became guardian to seventeen siblings after her mother’s unexpected passing. Seventeen! It was daunting, but she made it. Today only four kids remain at home, the rest having graduated into adulthood. Syi still runs a tight ship but always keeps a backup plan (or three) for when life inevitably decides to go off script.

Mo jumped in, her humor instantly turning our corner of the restaurant into the definitely noticeable fun table.  “You can’t be everything to everyone all the time. Trust me, I’ve tried. The best you can hope for is that everyone doesn’t need something at the exact same moment.”

Jasmine nodded in solidarity, “Life is busy! Girl, let’s face it, you know what needs to be done, but finding the energy? She laughed, “Now that’s a whole other episode. Juggling it all takes serious commitment. Just when you think you’ve got your act together, life tosses in a plot twist; like discovering at 6:30 at night your kid needs a poster board for a project due tomorrow. That will derail your so-called routine every time.”

The table erupted in laughter. Why, because if motherhood had a theme song, it would be “Expect the Unexpected.” Just when you begin to think you might finally have a handle on things, you hear the kids fighting over which show to watch, who ate the last cookie or the dog barking at nothing yet again. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering whether pajama pants can pass as real clothes for a quick grocery run. We’ve all been there.

Mo, who seems to have mastered the art of juggling, reminded us that it is important to be 100% present when at both home and work. You can’t split the difference. “Forgiving yourself and positive self-talk aren’t just buzzwords; they are survival skills. Sometimes you just have to stop, take a deep breath, and give yourself a pep talk in the car. Nobody gets it perfect all the time; we’re all just doing our best, one day, one minute and sometimes, one micro-second at a time.”

Jasmine offered up a piece of simple advice, “Don’t beat yourself up!” She constantly has to remind herself she’s not supermom, and that she is just as human as her kids (though she wishes she had their energy). “Let’s face it, there are very few things you can truly control, but self-care? That you can control, but you have to make it a priority.” After getting everyone out the door for school, she leaves for work. Some days, she just sits in her car for five minutes to say a prayer and recharge before going inside.

Syi agreed. Self-talk is also her way of giving herself pep talks. With so much on her plate, it’s important to set boundaries at home and at work. When she is feeling stressed or overwhelmed, she has learned that it’s okay to admit to needing a minute, even if it means hiding in the bathroom for a quick breather.

Without saying a word, we looked at each other, grinned and yes, sip, laugh, repeat. Our silent acknowledgement was confirmation that at some point, we had each sought refuge in the bathroom, the car or even a closet at one time or another. Honestly, someone should invent a sign that reads, “Mom’s Panic Room” to hang outside whichever spot is serving as a temporary escape.

Mo opened up and was very transparent about the delicate dance of giving her kids what they want and need while still keeping the family afloat. She spoke candidly about her very tough experience of facing eviction, moving her family’s belongings into storage, and temporarily living in an Airbnb. Through it all, she found hope in her kids’ laughter. To her surprise, they barely noticed the struggles. “Kids are resilient,” she said, “they can find laughter when adults can’t even find their smile.” How ironic that it was in their laughter where she found the strength to know they would come through the hardships, and they did!

Jasmine talked about her decision to move out of her house and into an apartment, a choice driven by both financial reasons and the need to preserve her sanity. Telling her kids was hard, but once the apartment lease was signed, a huge sense of relief washed over her. She realized she had spent far too much valuable time worrying and striving to make everything perfect, and in the end, it just wasn’t worth it.

Syi emphasized the necessity of being creative when life throws curveballs. Growing up, she learned to adjust quickly when money got tight. Routines and backup plans became lifelines. All that mattered was keeping her family together and making sure the kids felt safe, even when things were uncertain. “When you’re out of options, you’re out of choices. You just have to keep going!” And she did!

After trading confessions of budgets being stretched way too tight, we discovered that creative financing was yet another common thread we shared. If there were an Olympic Sport for making a dollar do gymnastics, we would all be on the podium wearing thrift store medals.

Just hearing Jasmine speak it is obvious she possesses a “minister of the Gospel” gifting. She uplifts and encourages everyone around her, radiating hope in both words and actions. Her go-to scripture is Hebrews 11:1: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” This verse helps to remind her that hope and trust will carry her through even the most uncertain times.  

Syi has a “minister of the people” servants’ heart.  “Growing up in Spiritual home, I always loved helping others. I still smile when I remember riding with my grandpa as he delivered ‘Meals on Wheels’. When we were younger, we were always volunteering for something. She admitted it was a rude awakening when everything happened, the tables were turned, and she had to be the one asking for help. “I had to keep telling myself there was nothing wrong with asking for help, you just can’t reside there.” She continued to work two jobs, cut corners and managed to provide for her family. Syi’s story is a strong reminder that asking for support isn’t weakness, it’s just part of the journey.

Mo laughed when she revealed, “You probably won’t believe this, but I’m actually an ordained minister. I went to a non-denominational college. I had no way of knowing, back in 2009, how my life would turn out. However, because of that college, its diversity and the foundation that was built, I have relied on that training more times than I can count. Mo’s faith is the rock she clings to in the toughest moments. Her faith helps her persevere even when the future is unclear.

For a moment, the dialogue felt like we were experiencing a bona fide revival. Faith wasn’t just a Sunday ritual or a church attendance checkmark. It was the unmistakable ingredient that kept these ladies moving forward. Faith was believing and trusting things will work out, even when you’re not sure how.

Jasmine boldly declared she had canceled her subscription to “Mom Guilt”.  Of course, this made us all laugh a little too loudly in the restaurant. (Again, we were the fun table.) Jasmine admitted she used to subscribe to  “Mom Guilt” and would feel guilty about correcting her children. Jasmine recalled how her faith helped her understand that correction isn’t rejection. She now makes sure her kids know correction comes from love, not disappointment. “As a child of God, my “daddy” is already pleased with me.” She wants to mirror that example and doesn’t want her children to feel like they have to check some type of “Mommy box” for her to be proud of them. “I may have to correct or discipline, but there is nothing they can do that can make me any prouder of them. Just like my Heavenly Father is pleased with me. Trust me, while I know He is pleased with me, I also know that doesn’t exclude me from correction,” She laughed.  

Syi believes her role is to love, guide, and discipline. She leads by example. Through everything she’s been through she’s learned to make time for herself and appreciate her human side. “Guilt hit me hardest when it came to finances. I had to learn to say no, because we just didn’t have it. The kids needed to learn that you have to work for what you want. Kids need to learn critical thinking and figure out what’s worth it and what’s not. Guardians make mistakes and so do parents, and you know what, that’s okay. The key is not to dwell on it.”

Mo tries to go home with a ready attitude, drawing a clear line between “Work Mo” and “Home Mom.” Mixing the two worlds only leads to frustration and turbocharges “Mom Guilt.” “If I’m still in work mode at home, I miss out on those little moments with my kids, moments I can never get back. On the flip side, if I bring home mode to the office, my work suffers and that could have very negative repercussions.”

We concluded that while “Mom Guilt” was real, we were all canceling our subscriptions, effective today! We choose grace, self-forgiveness and maybe an extra cookie (or five) when the kids aren’t looking. At the end of the day, perfect moms don’t exist, but real moms know how to laugh, love, and find that hidden stash of chocolate when necessary.  

Syi said she wouldn’t change a thing because Monday was her scheduled day off. (More chuckles, nods and coffee sips ensued). “Seriously though I started my week with coffee and a good mindset. This set me up for the week. In general, most of the time, I try not to look back.”

Mo also laughed and said, “I wouldn’t change anything either. The kids spent the week with their dad.” (by now, we were all cracking up). “Seriously, though, it was definitely a much-needed break. I was able to get some rest and take time for me. Granted that was this week, ordinarily, by mid-week, I’m a mess. However, I’m learning to look for the positives rather than wishing to go back in time.”

Jasmine had a different take. She reflected on her week and wished she had invested more time in her kids, God, and her new business. “I could’ve gotten out my laptop, or wrote down some notes, but I just didn’t. I just have to stay focused and know that every step forward is still progress, whether baby steps or leaps of faith.”

While a do-over now and again sounds really good, we know there is no rewind feature. Therefore, it’s best to roll with the bloopers and hope to find a little humor in the improvisation. Bottom line, you have to pick yourself up when you fall, adjust your crown and smile because you know you’ve got this.

Jasmine finds strength in “Proud of You” by Sherwin Gardner, a heartfelt ballad about showing up every day even when life seems heavy. The song’s message of perseverance and quiet strength mirrors her own journey. Even on those days when she feels like she’s running on fumes, it inspires her to celebrate the small victories. “Some days, just getting up and trying again is something to be proud of.”

Mo’s song is a rap song called, That BIH by Qveen Herby. The beat hits hard, radiates power, and commands confidence. The lyrics hit even harder. For Mo, the lyrics, “Listen to me carefully” and “Don’t want to be compared to me” remind her she is capable, fierce, and absolutely unstoppable. It’s her “get up and keep going” anthem.  

Syi turns to “Overthrown” by Jekacalyn Carr. When the road ahead seems steep, curvy and uncertain, Overthrown conveys raw honesty and a soulful message to strengthen her during her weakest moments. Syi is still standing for a reason and does not take it for granted. Then there are times she just needs a little extra dose of faith inspiration and that is when she leans into Mahalia Jackson’s classic How I Got Over, a gospel masterpiece that feels like both a prayer and a victory lap. When she listens to this song, it reminds her that she has conquered, through grace, every obstacle that has crossed her path.

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