Aged to Perfection

Celebrating one's birthday month seems to be a thing nowadays. That said, August began my birthday month. I've never been one for celebrating birthdays, and this year is no different. However, I admit the thought of turning 65 did make me wince a bit. How come I don't feel that old; mentally anyway. Physically, that's a different story. Realizing I am now Medicare official helps. Yet, I still cannot help but wonder how the time passed so quickly from 21 to 65. They say that time waits for no one, but seriously, the years flew by so fast I missed my mid-life crises!    

Most women wouldn’t admit their age, let alone put it in writing; but hey, it is what is! Is aging pleasant? No! Bones creak, eyesight worsens, hearing is questionable, and fatigue is a state of being. Looking in the mirror requires a couple of glasses of wine to view the sags, and, bags, and lines…oh my! It takes me so long to get ready to leave the house that I’m still not quite sure if general everyday maintenance really takes that much longer, or that I move that much slower. Don't even get me started on the cortisone shots in my knees because my cartilage thinks it is Houdini and disappeared, or blood pressure meds which only tackle the result not the reason it is high.     

Honestly, I don't think it's the number of years that bother me so much, but the real, raw, reality check of gravity. I think more about unfulfilled dreams than ever before. When you realize all those plans and goals from yesteryear are never going to happen, it can be a little depressing. When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer (of course) but having spent most of my childhood taking dance lessons, I also wanted to be a Broadway performer. Pipe dream? Sure, but it was my dream. When the writing thing never materialized the way I envisioned, I chalked it up to life and some big universal pecking order where some make it and some do not. This is just how things worked out. I know I am not alone. I believe most people, given the opportunity, would opt for a do over, at least in some areas. Besides, I still have dreams. One of these days, somewhere, sometime, I plan on putting myself out there performing a stand-up comedy routine. Although in my case, it will probably be a sit on a bar stool routine, but whatever. There is some unsuspecting open mic night that doesn't even see it coming their way.   

If I have truly learned anything, it is the fact that you cannot dwell on the past or you will lose your future. Do-over's do not exist and pining away for a life that didn’t happen serves no purpose. I have only two choices, jump feet first into a world full of unexplored experiences or wallow in a pool of regret. For those of you who know me, I am not just a sit in a rocking chair kind of gal. Last February, I threw caution to the wind, retired seven months early even though it meant paying for insurance that didn't cover squat until Medicare could kick in, and grasp everything life had to offer. There is one constant in this world, you can only go around one time and there is no time for could’ve, should’ve, would’ve.  

Today I have a bolder attitude. (I know, hard to believe), and I am a tad more outspoken, again who knew that was possible, right? I find myself doing and saying things that my 20, 30, 40, and even 50-year-old self would never have said or done. It was time to stop worrying about what other’s think and focus on finding humor where I can. I love to laugh...loudly, and I love to make people laugh too. I do not have qualms about telling it like it is, although there are times when I probably should. These days I have little patience for rude people, or folks pretending that they are "all that and a bag of chips". Life can change in a blink of an eye, so why spend it arguing for the sheer sake of arguing? Not me, I do not have time for that. I choose to forego the fear of the future. Aging is simply a part of life. I can either embrace it or mourn it, but I still have to live it. I'm taking a fresh look at the world around me. I plan to dance (hobble) in the rain and chase (although chase might be a strong word) after rainbows.

Where will this season take me?  Who knows? To date I have published three books and working on two more. I write because I love it, not because I'm trying to make a name for myself. I refuse to fit into a category. I have so much to share, and I prefer to remain a multi genre writer. I’m taking every adventure with enthusiasm, a touch of carefree whim, and of course, a bit of sarcasm; after-all it is my nature. In a couple of weeks, my annual aging ritual will arrive like any other day, without fanfare or excitement. It will arrive with the busyness of what has become my existence. However, one thing is certain, this year, I am 65 and screaming it from the rooftops. Well, more like the front porch, but you get the picture. Watch out world! You can either join the party or get out of the way, because this Mama is on the move!