Stop Ghosting Your Future

6:00 a.m., or is it 7:00? Regardless, it’s the same ritual. Counting to ten before throwing off the covers, sitting on the edge of the bed scrolling your phone for another 10 minutes, and debating if you really want to go in or call out. We've all been there. Eventually though, you mumble something about “needing to get with it” and shuffle to the bathroom. The shower helps a little, but not enough to stop you from staring into the mirror as you brush your teeth and wonder how you became stuck somewhere between the life you have, and the life you thought you’d have by now.  

While you tell yourself it's fine, it really isn't, it's just familiar. Familiar is safe, yet somewhere deep inside lives a writer, a singer, a filmmaker, a musician, an entrepreneur, or at the very least, someone who once felt excited about a possibility. Hidden under phone calls, staff meetings, and a horrible schedule, that person, that dreamer, is still there...somewhere. 

A recent report, cited by HRD America, found that six in ten employees feel stuck, and sixty percent admit they’ve stayed in a job longer than they planned. Why? Oftentimes it is because leaving feels scarier than staying. Staying offers a paycheck, predictability, insurance, and vacation days. Leaving comes with uncertainty, fear of failing, and a constant battle of the “what ifs”.  

There is some truth in the old saying that money talks, and BS walks. A steady paycheck is persuasive. It pays the bills, offers stability and provides a sense of accomplishment. Studies have found that more than a third of employees feel they “can’t” look for something else or assume they would need to start over at a lower salary. Others label their passion as “just a hobby”, something they don’t have time for, or one they could never make a living from. And still others quietly file their dreams away under “someday.” More often than not, someday becomes never. 

“I’ll write that novel when I have more time, more money, more freedom.”

“I’ll audition next year.”

“I’ll start my business eventually.”

Years pass. The day gig doesn’t change but the dream grows quieter. Worse, the security that once came with that steady job begins to fade. Lay-offs, pressure, changes in leadership, new rules, lack of advancement, and yes, money. For most people wages barely keep up with inflation, let alone get ahead. It's a vicious cycle. 

The idea that “if you’re meant to succeed, you will” is a myth. Talent alone isn’t enough. Without preparation, persistence, training and learning the business side, talent stalls. Rejection, awkward attempts, unfinished drafts, and long stretches where progress feels invisible; that’s real. All too often, one setback is enough to convince someone it’s time to give up.  Rejection is part of life. We’ve all been rejected at one time or another, and it hurts. It feels personal, and maybe sometimes it is. For this reason, some people retreat into a makeshift cocoon, protecting themselves from criticism, ridicule, or being laughed at. Staying in a dead-end job may be soul crushing but at least it doesn’t reject you out right. It doesn’t judge you. It just slowly numbs you. But hey, you do have direct deposit.  

Fear of failure is loud, comfort is convincing and dead-end jobs are very good at pretending they’re good enough. The drive to pursue a passion is rarely abandoned all at once. It’s a gradual good-bye. The descent begins slowly, one postponed dream and one “maybe later” stacked on another. The scariest thing isn’t failing, it’s never trying.

I speak from experience. For years, I introduced myself as an aspiring writer. People would nod and smile. One day I boldly announced that “I am a writer”. Come to find out, once I believed it, so did others. Determination meant I had to find time to write. No more excuses. For me, it meant getting up an hour early each morning to make myself write something. I refused to accept defeat. I fought (and still fight) the fear of rejection. Now, after all these years, I have authored three books, host a successful online publication and will be launching my first digital magazine in June. It isn't magic, it's work. 

Here's your sign. Stop waiting for the right moment, it doesn't exist. Fear will show up, it always does. Take that first step and soon, fear will have nothing left to chase you with. The dream you had long ago is still waiting for you to act. It's time to stop ghosting your future. Pick up the call!